Defend PHP

I ran across a great discussion at StackOverflow today that started with this question: I made a tongue-in-cheek comment in another question thread calling PHP a terrible language and it got down-voted like crazy. Apparently there are lots of people here who love PHP. So I'm genuinely curious. What am I missing? Why makes PHP a good language? The article lists a dozen or so "flaws" with the language, and then...